Low mood, emptiness or
feeling stuck
Understanding Depression in Men
Depression affects men and women alike, but it doesn’t always look the same. In men, it often appears in less obvious ways. Rather than feeling tearful or withdrawn, many men notice themselves becoming more irritable, angry, drained, or disconnected. Physical symptoms such as poor sleep, tension, headaches or low energy are common, as are behaviours that aim to distract or numb what’s going on inside. Because this doesn’t fit the familiar picture of depression, men – and those close to them – can miss what’s really happening.
Ideas about masculinity can make this even harder.
Many men grow up with messages about being strong, coping alone, or not showing vulnerability. Over time, this can make emotional distress feel uncomfortable or even shameful to acknowledge. Feelings get pushed down rather than spoken about, and the cost of that can be low mood, anxiety, strain on relationships, and sometimes physical health problems too.
Frustration, impatience or being constantly on edge
Depression in men is often expressed through frustration, impatience or a sense of being constantly on edge. Small things can feel overwhelming, reactions may feel out of proportion, and anger can become the only emotion that feels acceptable to show.
Disrupted sleep, changes in appetite or libido, and unexplained aches
Alongside this, the body often carries the strain. Ongoing exhaustion, disrupted sleep, changes in appetite or libido, and unexplained aches are all common. It’s not unusual for men to seek help for these physical symptoms without realising that depression may be playing a part.
Many men find it hard to ask for help.
Some men cope by keeping busy, working longer hours, drinking more than usual, or taking risks that offer a brief sense of relief. Others pull away from friends, family or activities they once enjoyed. While these strategies may help in the short term, they don’t address the underlying distress and can leave men feeling more isolated over time
Talking about feelings can feel unfamiliar, exposing or pointless, and there can be a strong urge to manage alone. Unfortunately, silence often allows depression to deepen, increasing the sense of being stuck or overwhelmed.
Support can make a real difference.
Speaking to someone you trust, even in a limited way, can ease the sense of carrying everything alone. Some men find peer support helpful, particularly spaces designed for men where there’s less pressure to explain or perform. Importantly, reaching out isn’t a failure or a weakness – it’s a sign of self-respect and courage.
Therapy offers a confidential, non-judgemental space to make sense of what’s going on. It can help men recognise how depression shows up for them personally, understand patterns in thoughts and behaviour, and find more sustainable ways of coping. Therapy can also gently explore underlying pressures such as grief, trauma, work stress or relationship difficulties, and support healthier ways of relating to emotions rather than pushing them aside.
Signs to look out for
Depression in men often looks like anger, fatigue, numbness or disconnection rather than sadness. Noticing these signs and taking them seriously is an important step forward. You don’t have to deal with it on your own. With the right support, it’s possible to feel more balanced, more connected, and more like yourself again. Reaching out isn’t giving up – it’s moving towards strength, clarity and a healthier way of living.
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