Masculinity, identity and self-doubt

Masculinity and Emotions

Many men are never given much space to talk about how they feel. From an early age, emotions may be played down, with the unspoken message that coping alone is what men do. As a result, distress often stays hidden rather than being expressed.

This can work for a time. But unspoken feelings don’t disappear — they often show up as irritability, disconnection, or exhaustion. It’s not a personal failing, but a learned way of coping that may no longer be helpful.

Masculinity is often linked with strength and self-reliance. These can be valuable qualities, yet they don’t have to exclude emotional awareness. There is room for a version of masculinity that includes openness, reflection, and connection.

When Emotions Are Held In

When feelings such as sadness, fear, or anxiety aren’t given space, they often emerge indirectly, for example through:

• Anger or irritability

• Overworking, alcohol, or risk-taking

• Withdrawing from others

• Ongoing tension, fatigue, or low mood